30 June, 2009

...

My Dearest Trinity,

There are no words to express how much I miss you, my sweet angel. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish that you were here beside me. I will never forgive myself for your death, because I know that I could have prevented it, and you would have been born healthy and happy. But alas, no amount of wishing or regrets is going to bring you back to me...

You would be almost 9 years old now. Dear God, how time flies. Sometimes I find it rather difficult to picture myself as the mother to a 9 year old little girl, and others it seems like it would be so right that my heart just breaks. I close my eyes and imagine what you would look like, because you would have been so beautiful. I think you would have had my eyes, and my dark blonde, curly hair. I also know that you would have been a kind, compassionate, empathic soul, because I could feel that in you even while you were still growing in my womb. It kills me to think that the world lost such an angel before you even had a chance to open your eyes.

I hope that you can forgive me for costing you your life. I thought that I was doing the right thing, but unfortunately, I could not have been more wrong. Everyone tries to tell me that everything happens for a reason, but I simply cannot figure out a good reason as to why you were taken away from me so suddenly and so cruelly. I have lied awake so many nights in the past 9 years wishing that I would simply slip away so that I could hold you in my arms...

I love you, my sweet daughter, with all my heart and soul. I will never, ever forget you, no matter how long I live or whether I have other children. Thank you for watching over your brother and sister, and please let them know that I miss them too, so much that it hurts to breathe sometimes. My three precious angels...I know you're all watching over me.

Come visit my dreams again soon, baby girl...Mommy needs to see that you're alright.

Love always and forever,
Mommy <3
Posted by at

1 comment:

  1. Nolla30 June, 2009 16:46

    Dear Trinity,

    Though this is highly unusual because I usually respond to what your mother wrote, I thought I'd try something different because you are so very special <3

    I can not begin to tell you how...honoured, startled and amazed I feel that you chose to speak with me for a minute or so. I know you know of my existence and that I talk to your Mom every night. I hope you also know how much I love her and want to look after her. She is everything to me, much as you and your siblings were to her {as well as one other, but you should know who that is}.

    I wish I could have had the chance to actually meet you {I bet you're beautiful like your mother} and, if this ever comes to your sight or knowledge, know that even though you might not know me, I do love you too.

    Not many know of you, but those that do love you enough for everyone else in the world <3 Never forget that and remember, we are always right here, so don't forget to say hello to let us know you are okay.

    Love always, Nolla

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)