I just don't understand...

So, I was supposed to go back to work today. I was actually looking forward to it, because I've basically been cooped up in my house for over a week.

I go in to work, and stopped in my boss's office because I had to talk to her about something, and she tells me that because I was out for over three days, I have to go see Employee Health so that they can clear me, and also that it's time for my annual employee physical. So far, so good, I wasn't anticipating any problems.

I get down to the office and had to wait about 20 minutes because it was very crowded, and then they finally called my name. I went back and the nurse asked me what I had been out for, and I told her that I'd had a kidney stone and was currently being treated for a UTI. I didn't think that was going to cause such a fuss, but apparently, it did. She asked if I had seen my doctor, and I told her no, because I haven't had time to make an appointment. She sort of frowned, but went on with the annual physical, taking my blood pressure and giving me a PPD test (for tuberculosis...standard procedure when you're in the medical field.) My blood pressure was a bit high, so she got concerned and went out to talk to one of the other nurses, and I didn't really think anything of it until they came back in and told me to call my doctor right then and there, and that I wasn't allowed back to work until I had seen him. Grr... Anyway, I managed to get an appointment with him at 2:30, so I figured, okay, I'll be back at work by 5, no big deal, I can always stay late, whatever. Went down to tell my boss what was going on, and she apologized because if she hadn't sent me down there, I could have gone back to work, but I told her it was fine, that I'd be back as soon as I saw my doctor. Haha, yeah, right.

I ended up being about 10 minutes late for my appointment because I ran into traffic, and when they called me back, they took my blood pressure again, and it was even higher. I figured that was probably just from me being annoyed at both getting stuck in traffic and being given the run around about coming back to work. The nurse took down all my complaints (I'm still having pain in my back and abdomen, on the side where the kidney stone was) and went to get the doctor.

The doctor, Greg (he's actually a physician's assistant, because my actual doctor was busy seeing other patients) came in a few minutes later, and ran through all the same questions that the nurse had asked. I gave him the kidney stone that I had passed, because I want it to be analyzed in the lab so they can give me some idea of what caused it. He wrote out a lab slip for me to go have another urinalysis done and some blood work (CMP and CBC w/ diff, not that anyone besides me knows what that means!) and then had me lie down on the table. He started pressing on my stomach and I was almost yelping, it hurt so bad on the left side. Once he was finished (he did this for about 5 minutes, pressing down on different areas), he let me sit up and told me I had to go have an xray (a KUB, he called it...I'm not sure what that stands for or what they actually were looking for, but I'm going to ask my sister later, because she's going to school for radiography), because he was afraid that it might not be just a UTI, but a kidney infection, and also that there may be more kidney stones. I got a bit nervous at this point, because I'm diabetic and kidney function is a serious concern with that disease, plus with the high blood pressure...*sighs* Then he writes out a note saying that I can't go back to work until Monday, and I told him that wasn't possible, that I have to work Friday and Saturday because I'm the only person scheduled and the only other person in the lab who's qualified to be there alone is my brother, and he already has plans. So, he changed it to keeping me out today and tomorrow, and said that I can work Friday and Saturday, pending the xray and blood/urine test results.

So now I'm home, blood drawn, urine sample given, xrays taken, worrying my head off about what's wrong with me now. I really hope that they can give me some answers, or at least have more of an idea of what to look for if they have to do more tests. It's really scary to not know what's going on with your body, to feel sick and be in pain and not know what to do about it.

So anyway, now I'm not getting paid for all this time, because I didn't have any sick days yet, which means I'll be lucky if my next paycheck clears $200. I was supposed to go down and visit my friend Mel next weekend, and now I can't afford it. I told her this, and well...she's kinda pissed at me now. I can understand that she's disappointed, but to get mad at me? It's not like I asked to get sick. She's texted me a few times now, so I think everything is worked out, but it hurts that she would get so upset with me over something I can't control. I mean, she's my best friend, I thought she'd be concerned about my health and well being...blah. She's stressed out right now too, so I guess I can understand, to a point. Hopefully in 3 weeks I'll be able to go down, after I get paid again.

On top of all of this, my mother is sick. She keeps getting dizzy and shaky, and her creatinine levels are twice what they should be, which is a sign of kidney disease. Her kidneys already failed once when she had e.coli 2 years ago, so I'm really worried that there was permanent damage and they're just catching it now. I don't know what I'll do if I lose my mother...I love her so much, and even though we don't always agree on things, she keeps me sane...please, please don't let anything be seriously wrong with her...I need her...

Life. Sucks.