It's like a bad movie...

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life where you feel like you're watching a really bad movie? You want to get up and turn it off, but something inside of you won't let you; there's a compulsion to see it through til the end and find out what happens. That's how I feel right now. Everything that's happening around me feels like it's just a really, really horrible movie laced up with every cliche and bad feeling imaginable. I want to stop it. I want to look away. I can't. I know it's all going to end badly and I really, really, really don't want to be around for the inevitable explosion but, unfortunately, it's not really a movie and there's no escaping. I'm stuck here waiting and watching with baited breath for it all to go up in smoke and then, once the smoke and flames are cleared up, I have to pick up the pieces. I'm not strong enough for this. I don't have the ability to put this all back together...for anyone. I'm being pulled in too many different directions and I feel like I'm going to snap. It should be so simple, but it's not. Not at all. In fact, the more time goes on, the more complicated it gets. And it hurts. It hurts that I have no way to fix this, no way to even really help ease the blow. Either way, it's not going to be pretty. No matter what happens, it's all going to fall apart. And the worst part? Even once the credits are finished rolling, we'll just rewind and do it all over again. Fuck. My. Life.