Have you ever felt so closed in that you feel like you're suffocating, even if there's no one around you? That's how I've felt for the past few days now…like I don't have enough room to breathe or think at all. And it doesn't matter if I'm in a room full of people (like at work), with only my parents, or even in my bedroom or car completely alone. I feel like I'm being crushed, like there's not enough space for my lungs to work properly. And I know it's all in my head. I know that it has everything to do with the fact that I feel so lost and stagnant right now, like I don't know what to do next or how to take the next step along the path of my life. And I hate it. I hate this feeling. I hate that there's no escape from it. Escapism used to be my best defense mechanism, and now nothing seems to work. Nothing gives me any relief for more than a few minutes...and that really, really sucks...I hate reality...
About Me
- Wishmistress222
- Webster, New York, United States
- "I am the harbinger of destruction, the eternal heart breaker. A siren in every sense of the word: sweetly seductive and deadly."
Nightwish-Hartford, CT, May 1, 2009
Photos by me
Nightwish, New York City, NY-May 2, 2009
Photos by me
Nightwish, Allentown, PA-May 3, 2000
Photos by me
Tarja, New York City, NY-April 29, 2009
Photos by me
*hugs* I think I've felt this way a couple of times but pretty mildly - completely claustrophobic and near asphyxiation no matter where I am, who I'm with or what I'm doing. Like...if I don't run, if I don't get away, I'm going to scream, cry, fall apart or all three. Though it may be a bit different for you.
ReplyDeleteMusic is one of the best forms of escapism in my opinion but...as nice as it would be, blasting music in your ears 24/7 for the rest of your life might be a bit difficult. I know writing has been hard for you lately, what with the Maestro hogging the muse {perhaps he'll release his hold upon her}...I suppose a good book series can help too. Losing yourself in a good book is frightfully easy but, annoyingly, it's easily shattered. I know suggesting to read a book is easier said than done, seeing as you are insanely busy all the time, but the idea is there, just in case.
One of your escapisms is one I'd love to part take in - concert whoring, which essentially ties back to music anyway. I could look up different escapisms if you'd like?