28 May, 2009

I'm feeling very lost this morning...I can't figure out why, though I suppose I have a few ideas.

Last night at my brother's was a blast. We all get so stupid when we play that game, and the abundance of Pixie Stix and beer was a very welcome addition to the night. Right now I'm in second place, and we're going to continue on Monday because Rick has off again. I will defeat him!

...but see, that's part of the problem. I make plans with my friends who are actually here, who I can actually see, and I feel like sometimes my other friends get upset with me because I'm not here at home to talk with them online. I mean, it's nice that people care about me and want me around, but it's not like I go out that often. I suppose maybe part of it is because I was just gone for an entire weekend, and I won't be around much this weekend either, but I don't like being made to feel guilty for spending time with my friends. I need to get out of the house and do things, especially given the mood that I've been in lately. Camping helped while we were there, but now I almost think that things are worse since we came back...and that really, really sucks.

And then there's work. It's driving me crazy. People are so fucking immature! I mean, I feel like I'm in high school again. What the Hell gives these people the right to speak "on my behalf" when I never asked them to?!?! Now my boss thinks that all I do is complain behind his back, and everyone is whispering about me behind MY back, and it's just really, really frustrating. We're supposed to be adults, but the thing is, it's all the older people who act like children, and the 20-somethings seem to act more like actual adults. Grrrr...

Not to mention the fact that I almost lost it last night...we got in a pathology sample which was, much to my horror, a chopped up fetus in three separate jars. Now, anyone reading this should know why that bothers me so badly, and I really don't have the strength to spell it out right now, but the guys at work have no idea...and so, they were teasing me with it, telling me to look at the foot that they could see, etc. I just...hate that. I hate being so sensitive to it and I hate that I can't explain to them why it bothers me so much. GRR!!!!!

Anyway, I have to go get ready for work now, oh joy, oh bliss. Thank God tomorrow is Friday...I'm about to go over the edge.
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1 comment:

  1. Nolla28 May, 2009 18:24

    *laughs* I'm glad you had fun last night and I hope you beat your brother. Aren't pixie stix like...all sugar? o.o I'm surprised you lot weren't bouncing off the walls.

    Personally, I think it's good you spend time with your friends and family. I say, go for it. You have a life and good, if sometimes a bit idiotic, friends <3 xP

    Which brings me to the next part of your entry, which I already gave me views on. People should mind their own business when it comes to things like that. If you had a problem, you would tell your boss yourself. You complain very rarely about your job because I know you love what you do and that you are fabulous at it. You can literally run the entire lab alone, which to me, is quite incredible. I doubt many there could say the same for themselves honestly.

    *hugs*...I can't believe they would tease anyone about/with something like that. That would make me cry to see something like that. I'm actually surprised that they aren't sensitive to it at all. I mean...yeah they weren't involved personally or whatever...but still...still...*sighs and shakes her head*

    I am here for you. Always

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